This is an excerpt from an article I wrote in 2017. See original here.

Don’t just Skate across your Consciousness

Early in 2016 I began seeking out information on the power of thought. So clearly, I am no expert.   

Shit, I skimmed across the ice rink for 30 years thinking it was frozen solid. Well, my eyes caught a glimpse one day when my soul was ready. I noticed a patch I could see through and once that happened I realized I could see through the whole thing.

Waiting below the surface of superficiality was an ocean of purpose and opportunity. I’d been skating on the ceiling of my intelligence.

So many people skate across their lake of consciousness, assuming its loyalty. They believe concretely that it’s solid and will even deny or out right ignore evidence to the contrary. 

I only know because I was one of those people. In the past, I used a scientific, skeptical perspective to dissect every bit of my world. I dismissed any ideas that seemed laced with religion or spirituality. I was not raised within any religion so it seemed only natural to classify that entire side of the equation as unreliable; fables at best – mass manipulation at worst.   

I grew up burdened with anxiety and depression. I learned the genetics and chemistry and I accepted it. Hormones and glands, synapses and neural pathways. Yeah, I get it. But I never thought to spin the science around the other way. Not once did I think “If your brain wiring is giving you negative results why not just edit the wiring?”   

Because ‘I’ve always been this way’. ‘That’s just the way I am’. ‘I have anxiety’.  

These were my excuses. These thoughts became the words I defined myself with and therefore became my truth. Unknowingly I inherited my parents thought patterns, their energy. I was raised on a diet of worry, doubt and lack – and now, as an adult, I have the audacity to wonder why I’m so stressed all the time? Seems to be a simple enough equation to solve now.  

 
How can I evolve into a smarter, confident, and more compassionate person? How can I connect and feel purpose? How can I stop these anxiety ridden worry-fests? The task of reinventing myself seemed so overwhelming that I used to just circle back to science and blame my genes. My personality is permanent. But after breaking through the ice I can never want to crawl back out. I can’t make fake excuses – now I know I have the ability to change my brain. I understand the neural net and that old concept of ‘use it or loose it’. I need to relearn how to think. Great.

   
 So how do you go about rewiring your brain?  
 And so my search began. Much like any other research project, I began on the internet scouring for credible sources and ended on YouTube…watching CrashCourse videos.

Anyways, somewhere along the lines I heard mediation and/or yoga was beneficial so that was my initial angle. As soon as I started learning about the history behind mediation I immediately became engulfed in the neurology of it. I realized I knew very little about brainwaves, sound waves, energy in general. Don’t get me wrong, I passed physics…6 years ago.

Obviously everyone knows what an EKG, EEG, or a MRI is but it’s the fabrication of this science that stirs my core. We are energy, (yeah, duh.) But ruminate on that a bit, seriously, from a place that is based in solid fact.   

Most of the modern world defines all of life with scientific terms. Today we measure, study, and document every piece of life and nature we can get our hands on, – out past universes and straight down into the atom, to the quarks… but we still lack any real evidence of a connection, of a why or a how. Now I’m not going to get into religion, spiritual beliefs, the big bang or anything close to that; I mean to strictly point out the notion that we are obviously missing some of the pieces to the puzzle here. Is it really so far-fetched to assume we also have untapped mental capabilities?         

There is so much information out there on the subject of consciousness. I learned slowly that ‘thinking’ is an umbrella term, not a vocabulary word. There are so many types of thought. The brain is capable of amazing things; the placebo effect being one of its many incredible traits. Which brings me to question why the hell studies always have that disclaimer about the placebo effect as if it’s a negative. Isn’t the brain rewiring itself full of more potential than any effects in pharmacology? But that’s a whole different beast…   

Let’s get back to the point. Thoughts are powerful, that much we can all agree on.

Take the RAS (recticular activating system), this little bundle of neurons at the base of your brain literally controls your thoughts and decides which ones you focus on. Check out this quick video I found. It breaks down the RAS and it’s function to better explain :     

  I felt empowered once I started to integrate my knowledge of anatomy and physiology with these new ideas I was learning about mediation, yoga, energy, and the quantum world. They fit together like pieces of some beautiful, psychedelic puzzle. Granted I’ve still got gaping holes it in…   

I vowed to finish this 30 day yoga challenge on, you guessed it, YouTube and also to dedicate some time to trying mediation after each video every day. I stuck with it because I truly enjoyed it. The entire routine gives me time to myself and helps me to remember the ice rink is not solid, it’s not frozen.   

Setting aside 10-15mins for medication turned into an easy 25 minutes and simultaneously I noticed that peaceful silence melting into the rest of my day. Stressful situations became tasks to manage and solve. Other people’s words and attitudes have less of an affect on me now.   

Gradually my daily stress level decreased. I began seeking out self improvement seminars, documentaries, videos and books. I don’t dismiss a single idea – and I’m starting to hear a lot of the same points being recited; people being compared to radio antennas or radio waves, the power of manifestation, writing an item you want on paper and reading it multiple times a day, the power of affirmations and mantras.         

Merely searching for more knowledge led me to see how ass-backwards my lifestyle was. Just like my toxic thought patterns, I had unhealthy nutritional standards and then I wondered why I felt like shit every day? I was stuck in a low frequency. I began to see how sculpted my beliefs and thoughts really were. I was never in control of my mind because family, society, school, media, you name it had hijacked my brain and pushed onto it these preconceived standards.   

Once I was able to pinpoint some mental processes I found to have negative responses; I set out to change them. I was chronically stressed, a compulsive worrier, an over thinking and an under-doer. I  used to think I lacked intuition but really my central nervous system was so over run with the anxiety of what if’s and could’ve been’s that it never got a free minute to tap into the intuition side. 

Tony Robbins said something in one of his videos; now I’m totally paraphrasing here, so don’t quote me on his exact words but what stuck with me was his description of anxiety. He said you have it because there is some action that needs to be done. It’s an alert system. Find the need and fill it because the more you procrastinate the worse the anxiety will get.   
 

I’m now a referee of my thoughts. I am a self-educated referee with a degree in cognitive behavioral therapy. I’ve been putting in 16-18 hour days with no paid overtime, no holidays or weekends. My salary is paid in peace of mind and that – I’m finding –  is fucking priceless.

I’m on a steady path to increasing my vibration. I’ve accepted the fact that progress is a lifetime process. Tai Lopez has this habit of setting 18 month goals and encouraging others to do the same. This idea really broadened my horizon. Before I was stuck in the daunting task of forcing results to happen immediately; if it took too long I would dismiss the goal as impossible or “not meant to be”.   

Now I’m running on universal time. Real time. Einstein had a point way larger than mathematics when he unleashed the theory of relativity. He abolished the concept of uniformed time. Time is experienced different by everyone, everywhere. Time is as fast or long as you decide it will be. He didn’t actually say that – this is completely my own interpretation but I feel the truth of it in my soul.   
 
 If I can do it, anyone can!