Here’s one of the hardest points about commitments made to the self – there is no one else there to hold you accountable, no other to shine a light on your progress, practice or performance.

You are the only one who determines the parameters of the commitment, you the one who deems what the final outcome is and when (or conversely when not) to end the project. It’s ultimately up to you whether the pursuit has been successfully completed or not; and only you can really gauge your progression throughout and decide how best to move through the processes involved.

This kind of self-led discovery must be my preferred avenue of seeking, or at the very least, the most convenient and habitual method or approach I fall into – because I am constantly setting myself up with commitments, schedules and to-do’s. I could probably explain/excuse and talk around it all with astrology, numerology or even psychology but none of it is relevant anyways, so lets just leave it there and get back to the topic at hand.

It’s a rather difficult task, to be honest with ones self… and you wouldn’t think it would be so; or at least I didn’t realize it at first, and I’m assuming that others may be thinking along those same lines.

Over the last ten years I have been returning to this task and practice of being honest with myself because I see it as the most reliable path towards truth and my highest good. That in itself is an honored and upheld commitment, which is something I continue to remind myself of during those slumped and fumbled moments when I feel like throwing in the towel on my whole existence; because yes, those times always do come. But it’s how I choose to respond within those moments that determine where my true working and real lessons are at.

There are so many “things” that pop into daily life and when you’ve committed to being honest with yourself as much as possible, these occurrences become alchemy opportunities. When we recognize the moments for what they are and begin to work with our own inner reactions instead of hiding or skirting around uncomfortable circumstances for whatever reason, we can begin to learn how to alchemize our realities and change our worlds for the better.

Somewhere along the lines I gave up the fake it til you make it line and just started to accept and make the best of where I am truly at instead; and I think that shift in perspective aligned me to see more clearly the true work at hand. It is never about the end result per se, but about how we choose to discover our way to the end that defines what the whole purpose is about.

Of course these kinds of judgements vary depending on the type of commitment you’re involved in; so I’d like to define today’s explorative writing process a bit more right from the start.

It can be so simple, so easy to ‘short change’ yourself and dismiss some previously determined goal and jump onto some better, more interesting newly inspired commitment.

Sometimes the new idea seems more important or maybe I receive some insight which makes my prior vision more clear and with it, I rush off to the next version.

What exactly happened to the original commitment, though? It’s been cast out into imagination space and unless I’ve cut ties with it in a thorough and unemotionally entangled way, I know it will call back to me eventually, seeking closure or fulfillment of some sort that it was longing for the whole time – hence the reason I was given the initial idea.

Notions that we ought to do some ‘thing’ in a certain way; or manifest, create, bring to fruition some impression we have been given within our inner mind’s eye (our imagination) have divine origin. In my humble opinion, at least.

The most precious and unique gifts are bestowed to us inside our own inner worlds. When we listen and honor those subtle, quiet truths we see our entire lives shift and change. Things align nicely in your day to day life and you find happiness, peace of mind and even inspiration/hope come into your mind without struggle.

I know these words to be true because I’ve felt and witnessed them for myself, time and time again.

To know these things doesn’t make the doing of the action any easier but it does help to amp up my motivation to stay committed during the slump moments, the harder times and those mess ups that make you want to throw in the towel on the whole affair.

When we have goals, dreams or the like, we should go into these creative plans with an open mindedness that expects disruptions, mistakes or misconceptions will happen and accepts them as the pop up, as they are. At which time, the makers of the plan can then innovate, rework or maneuver through the mix ups or problems and create a more solid, operable and reliable version of that “end goal idea”.

However, the rules of this game/world that we find ourselves implanted within, do not allow for such reconfiguration of functions or processes.

The architecture within the Negative Matrix Overlay is non-negotiable, users must operate within the given parameters only otherwise risk expulsion from the entire system. This is how/why I know the game is a farce and a joke – not meant to be taken seriously or thought about too much, we are meant to be live consciousness expressing itself, not simply focused on surviving as long, and as comfortably, as possible.

Anyways, to bring it back to where I started with this blog – it can be super difficult sticking to commitments when there is no other to hold a light to your actions and call you out when things are veering off track. We can become more easily disillusioned by the shadows within and lose track of the true Light source which originally shined down upon us and gave us the inkling to follow.

This is why staying committed to the Self is such a highly reactive and beneficial process. Once you can pick up momentum and honor your choices, you begin to feel such a deep power of choice, power in knowing, a resonant power like stored potential energy is explained in the science world – you can sense your own standing reverberating power. It is amazing and scary all at the same time because just like the cartoon superheros told us, “with great power comes great responsibility.”

I am the only one here to hold myself accountable. I am the only person who can sense the weight of my own responsibilities and therefore also the only one who can know how strong or weak I feel about maintaining the load. We each do this in our own ways and sometimes it can be easy to forget that others are managing a load of all their own, too.

No one can see or know all of the moments of your life, all the tiny choices and promises you make and keep or conversely those which you break or fall short for one reason or another. How I choose to see each one does matter, though – because this knowing sets a foundational base for my energy systems. This place of clarity within, where I hold myself up against my own inner light and gauge how true I feel to myself is an ever changing and morphing place. I know it will always be, too, and so I approach it with curiosity and respect. I try to hold as much compassion and acceptance as possible while observing what it is I see within and what I want for my own path to my highest good. It’s a very hard thing to do, I’m not explaining this with some kind of expertise that means I’m done with this work or that I am even very good at it – I’m simply sharing this to say clearly how I am doing it, all in my own way. Hoping that it may help an other find their own way to stay committed to hard things.

Thanks for reading, if you have taken the time – I truly appreciate your energy and attention.