This is a modified version of a blog written by myself back in 2018. See the original version here.
It takes a village..
We all know this epic saying.
When we’re overwhelmed and wish we had more than two hands, we align with this proverb.
But what about when you’re getting along fine? Does that mean you still couldn’t use the help of the village or even more importantly – when you’re getting along fine does that give you the right to abandon the village?
Slowly but steadily each person who started making it – did exactly that “made it” and moved up and moved on. We forgot about our tribal nature. We lost our connection to community and exited.
Now I say tribal nature what I’m describing is our need for acceptance and love. We are social beings – nothing feels better than recognition and admiration. Do you really think that many bad people are just born and here to cause harm? No. Most infants are not evil – though their crying may be – no infant reaches out and claws their mothers eyes out for fun or rips off and eats the nipple feeding them. Let’s all admit here that “evil”, if it truly even exists, is man made. Some people become really fucked up when they feel rejected or are abused. We lash out and try to make others hurt as we hurt. We die from broken hearts and commit suicide because of the hole isolation causes in the soul.
Imagine if we hadn’t checked out of the village? If it was still acceptable to love and trust your neighbor? All this liberalism out there puts up a fake front like it’s love and acceptance for all but it is not. It whitewashes us all and strips us of our unique role in the tribe. It ostracizes certain roles within the community and breaks us apart into smaller, segregated little boxes, scared of speaking our truths, terrified we might offend someone because they are different from us! How hypocritical!
Imagine if we supported each others unique roles – allowing each to take the lead where necessary? A village is an ecosystem. It is symbiotic human relationships. A cohabitation of many different people on many different levels. There is supposed to be levels.
Yes, some people are better at certain things – some of us are engineers, builders, tinkerers, artists, songwriters, teachers, parents – whatever – we each have a unique talent and purpose that we are naturally inclined to. Some of us are physically strong, some mentally, some spiritually.. what is wrong with that?
This game of life is a learning process. We are ALL teachers of something and students of many things. This needs to be brought back – we could have had self sustained, educated and thriving villages with all the hardworking people in this world.
But instead we drifted apart. Our neighborhood may define us socially, financially, and economically but how many of us actually identify with our community? How many of us know our neighbors – the people who live in your city? It’s unheard of in most places in today’s world. This world is a survival of the fittest, cut throat, it’s me or you place, right? Everyone is out to rob you and take what little you have for themselves. Protect yourself, your family.
But once we were so busy “warding off our thieving neighbors” and without us even realizing, they crept in and stole our most precious possession – our love and compassion, our connection to each other. They divided our tribes so we were too busy watching the pawns fight and missed the Queen sliding in…
Without a tribe, we lack a strong defense network or support system.
When a family is left to fend for itself they end up isolated, bitter, judgmental, selfish, jealous and stressed out. This is a busy, hard world now – even a fifty years ago it was much slower, families could almost keep up, but now, between the rising costs of living and health problems and the falling wages and social services hardly anyone can keep up. We are all struggling and if we had a tribe to help us bare the weight we would not stuck.
This is where I circle back to the fact that over time people started doing well and exited the tribe.
For many reasons – mainly because social engineering is a spectators sport – villages fell apart and support systems broke down. Now the fear of being alone keeps us stuck in unhappy relationships, scarcity locks us in jobs we hate and the thought of “losing it all” and becoming homeless will keep each one of us in line right up til retirement.
But what if we had a community to carry us when we couldn’t walk?
- What if we had a village where construction workers and carpenters built homes in exchange services they needed done?
If you didn’t have the threat of eviction or foreclosure hanging over your head, wouldn’t you quit your miserable job and actually follow your dream?
- What if we had strong tribes where the women supported and empowered each other?
Would she still stay with a man she doesn’t love just because they have 3 kids and she couldn’t make it as a single mom?
- What if let mothers who want to be stay at home moms run after school programs and day cares instead of forcing them to work because there is no other way for their family to get by?
Would as many kids be raised by the streets if there were open and welcoming homes to go to without a question in their village?
- What if we respected our elders and kept them around – no matter how much fiat currency they accumulated during their years, after you reach a certain age you are just respected and taken care of?
- What if we employed local farmers and took advantage of new clean and sustainable technologies?
Would you choose to poison your own village – your own people – your own land?
These are all tribal expectations – they transcend time and place and they are for the good of the collective. Human kind could really benefit from bring back the Tribe.